L E X Y ' S L I L L I F E !

Priceless

2011-04-21T07:13:00.000-07:00

The most precious thing in life

"Laughter"

Priceless.

What Went Wrong?

2011-03-23T04:46:00.000-07:00

I'm here alone in Starbucks facing my lappie again for the 2nd day. Today... no miracles, no surprises...it's just another cold rainy day...

Went to the pantry, stood at the side, stared outside the window and wondered..."what went wrong?"

Afraid...

2011-03-21T22:59:00.000-07:00

‎"It is not telling you how I feel that scares me, it's what you'll say back"

But...

2011-03-20T20:35:00.000-07:00

I used to wake up a happy man.
Knowing that I had most of the things in life. What more can I ask?
But it's all in the past now and things have moved on. Everyone's been heading on with their lives and I should do so.
But there just seemed to have a lot of buts.
Years have gone by yet I'm still have things running around...
But...

Feelings...

2011-03-03T06:30:00.000-08:00

Miss...

2011-03-02T05:28:00.001-08:00

No Regrets...

2011-03-01T00:47:00.000-08:00

Love...

2011-02-28T06:03:00.000-08:00

14th February 2011

2011-02-13T17:20:00.001-08:00

It's 14th February 2011...Yes, Valentine's Day. It's kinda akward to actually celebrate it alone for the 1st time after many years....

Perhaps, it is because of my stupidity and foolishness.
Or it's a punishment for the things that I have actually done...
Wouldn't it be great if someone was here with me...

Forgive me...as I'm truly sorry...

Selfish Shit!

2010-08-17T20:56:00.000-07:00

hey blog....I'm back with rants again.....

wonder why people can be so selfish and yet can be so happy and proud of it?
I'm just sick seeing this stuff and I thought life should be fun.

Some are enjoying their lifes while I'm still struggling here. What's wrong?
My problem or????? I just can't seem to be able to click with anyone.....well I'm kinda selfish myself as well...but I believe I'm trying to improve....probably time will tell.....but what I did do to deserve all these?

Everytime....explaining, explaining and explaining...and yet the blame is somehow back to me???
for God's sake....Give me a break....at least I do stuff for people....and all I wanted was just a simple respect.....and lil bit of care on me???

sheesshhhhh....

Depressed

2010-05-18T06:39:00.000-07:00

Hey there....

I'm pretty sick now...body gets heated up on and off... and yet, I have to go on....

I'm pretty depressed as well. Seems like everything is turning over to me...especially those rotten ones. I'm tired, I'm exhausted...and I'm afraid....

Does anyone out there hear what am I saying? Please understand....

Fakers, the Oscar Winners.....

2010-04-07T08:10:00.000-07:00

Self presentation is essential in one's life. But how do you actually project yourself?
Humble, polite, honest, bossy, and even distrustful to name a few human traits.

For now, I am seeing people who are being so damn "creative" and "real" where they are the true "Oscar Awards" winners everyday.
And the award goes to........"X.X.X.X".

Now, talking about ingratiation skills, people that I meet every 5 days of the week are 80% ingratiators...

Is ingratiation so essential in our life?
Is this the key to pure recognition and success? To me it is all BULL!

All the while, I was being so damn bloody naive making and forcing myself to believe in "performance". But, sadly having good performance is just an extra touch up in life. Nothing beats the skill of having your tongue sticked out licking and sucking the HITLER's shoes. So, the real deal is that you have to learn and be good in "ingratiation".

This is what I have learn in the past days and I am seeing it everyday. Kind of bored actually as their "act" are predictable.

Why? Why ingratiate?
Because you are so damn impotent that you need viagra to wake "him" up!
Because you are so damn useless that you need to bark for attention!
Because you are so dumb that you need to INGRATIATE to gain "approved" recognition by someone else.

Screw you FAKERS.....I have been doing my part trying to get a point in life, trying to earn recognition through my REAL contribution but then attention were derailed.

The attention derailed towards these FAKERS. They are so damn good in their acts where the "HITLER" love them so damn much. And I just could not make myself understand, where and how did they do it? It is not easy not to become yourself as a matter of fact, I feel disgusted if I have to lick one's pair of shoes. It is even worse than bribe.

Shoe lickers do not deserve any credits and attention. They only deserve....ZERO...

This I have to ponder....

Time Management

2010-04-06T00:55:00.001-07:00

Time management.....big words....
What is the actual reason of having so many continuous, tiring, boring and time consuming time management related trainings?
Shesshhh.....Time consuming time management trainings?
Sounds odd though.
That's right! FUCKING TIME CONSUMING TIME MANAGEMENT TRAINING.
Any return on investment for this crap?
I not sure as I have not been in any.....But I know what is respect of time.
In fact there are ROIs if the person is not a dumbass to take things for granted.
I can only tell you how much hatred I put on to these people who take time for granted.
Think again shit head, what is the thing that goes up and never comes down?
Yes....AGE...and yet we still get those damn assholes wasting our bloody fucking time. I want quality time.
Never ever hold anything if you are not committed or confident enough. Else, you have better be comitting sucicide
right now. No point that you are still here living and wasting anyone elses time.
Or maybe I should try understanding the minds of the autocrats where their time is so damn precious (where losing a
single damn minute, you'll lose out "billions" of dollars) and our time is just some "digits" on our PCs' taskbar.
Maybe you should start thinking back what you have learnt in the trainings. Re-open back your notes, see what have
you jot down if you were smart enough to record down a few key points in the trainings previously. Else, dream on
and think of a way how to dismiss yourself from my sight.
Respect your time as a start. Then you will know how wonderful it is to have people like me respecting you in return.

The Art of Tai Chi Chuan

2010-04-05T20:43:00.000-07:00

What is a human?

A human is a bipedal primate belonging to the species Homo sapiens in Hominidae, the great ape family....

Am I a human?

Yes I am...

How complicated can a human be?

Well, as far as I know, the limit goes beyond to an unimaginable level.

I have stepped into a world of uncertainties thanks to a few individuals claiming themselves having good “human” skills. No doubt, they are pretty good actually.
Good in the art of “Tai Chi”. Now, what is “Tai Chi”?

I went to Wikipedia, stamped in “Tai Chi Chuan” and I found this:
“Tai chi chuan (literal translation "Supreme Ultimate Fist") is an internal Chinese martial art often practiced for health reasons. It is also typically practiced for a variety of other personal reasons: its hard and soft martial art technique, demonstration competitions, and longevity. Consequently, a multitude of training forms exist, both traditional and modern, which correspond to those aims. Some of tai chi chuan's training forms are well known to Westerners as the slow motion routines that groups of people practice together every morning in parks around the world, particularly in China.”

Now, I tried to look at those key words in bold, mumbled to myself a while and found something quite interesting. Combined those sentences together and…..let’s see, “Some individuals are good in the art of Tai Chi. It is typically practiced for a variety of other personal reasons: longevity, where these people practice together".

It is so true. “These people practice Tai Chi TOGETHER to keep them happy, safe and protected for a longer survival ship”

As for me, I do not practice any Tai Chi. I am more like an opposing force of Tai Chi.

Now read this (from the same source, Wikipedia):
Martial art: The ability to use tai chi as a form of self-defense in combat is the test of a student's understanding of the art. Martially, Tai chi chuan is the study of appropriate change in response to outside forces; the study of yielding and "sticking" to an incoming attack rather than attempting to meet it with opposing force. The use of tai chi as a martial art is quite challenging and requires a great deal of training.

Note that, this skill requires a "great deal of practicing". So, I am not up to this. The only thing I am capable of is being the opposing force for them to train on. Now, get this right, if one day, just one fine day when I get my chance to learn this “skills”, we put this in to the “battleground”. Eat sh*t you son of bit*hes.....